“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24
For some wives (and potential wives), these three verses strike a deep chord in their souls as the thought of having their own husband serve as a ‘boss figure’ sends shivers down their spines. For some husbands, this has the reverse affect, when they use these verses against their wives to establish dominance and control. Both ways are not as God intended.
- “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ” Ephesians 5:25-28
God has put husbands in charge of sacrificing their own lives for their wives and families. They are to lead the reading and studying of God’s Word in their home and lead in finding ways to serve the Lord for their families. They are to be a living example of what Christ would intend for them to be and would intend for their families to be.
Why would God make the man head of the household and head of his wife? Why wouldn’t it be 50/50, split for equality? I heard something today that actually made sense to me in this regard and may put a new spin on things for some wives stuck in state of tension having a ‘husband boss.’
[The following are generalities. They do not apply to every man and every woman, but are overall traits of the sexes.]
Men are rule-followers. If you watch men in sporting games, for example, they will get irate over someone breaking a rule or by calling a play unfairly. They don’t care who they hurt in the process, but will make sure that their opinions are expressed in regard to the breaking of this rule. They are more rule-focused and less relationship-focused.
Women are relationship-focused. Women will sacrifice rules at the expense of maintaining relationships. They do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings, even if it means breaking the rules a little.
So, with that knowledge, God has placed husbands over wives, because when it comes right down to it, a man should uphold the Word before he worries about feelings getting hurt. He is able to think more clearly in this way, since his emotions do not get in the way as often. Women struggle with wanting to please everyone and so are more subject to bending the rules so as not to hurt feelings. God uses the rule-following in men to keep the family on tract, and then also uses the relationship-focus of the women to help him maintain sound emotions in a decision.
A relationship is best when both the husband and the wife are functioning as God intended, loving and serving one another out of mutual respect and understanding.
- “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21